Undies. Yep, it was lingerie week [horribly mispronounced throughout the show by everyone except Edna Mode- I love her, it’s official].
IT’S NOT lahn-jer-AY people, it’s lahn-jer-EEEEEEEEEEEEE!
And breathe. [As annoying as everyone mispronouncing ‘toile’ lol.]
Anyway. The usual nonsense ensued. They had to follow a pattern make a stretch bra [or bralet as they seem to be called these days, implying no suport, and little shape- sort of icing for the bosom]. They got a miserly couple of hours to do it, which is really silly, and forces them to produce tat, then they get criticised for wonky seams or bad finishing. Meh.
Anyway, they produced a range of results from bloody awful to not bad. Almost all of them had issues fitting the back bands into the hook and eye pieces [which I found to be a pain when I made a bra]. This made me suspect that they’d been given fittings that didn’t fit… My hackles started to rise even more when idiot beardy-man pronounced a wobbly, uneven, wrinkled effort as ‘excellent’, a very tidy effort was dismissed as ‘mumsy’. Hmmm. I spy an agenda here.
Sure enough, the ‘ranking’ for the task was insane. The bad ones were at the bottom, but the mediocre beat the good. Hmmm again.
The makeover challenge was better than usual: they were given a batch of charity shop silk scarves to make into a lingerie item of their choice. Lots of slips and camisoles and a tatty pair of knickers happened. A couple were rather good for being produced with no patterns in an hour and a half, but the ‘winner’? Really?
It was a good choice of scarves, so the colours were nice, but it was a bloody mess- the godets round the hem were uneven, messily finished and just weird. The judges cooed and fussed as if it was something amazing. I seethed and cursed. The winner looked surprised, and a couple of the other contestants looked peeved, but smiled through clenched teeth. I wouldn’t have done- another reason why I could NEVER go on something like this! Someone would have had their ears burned…
And in another example of insanity with time allocation, the final challenge was to make a robe. Just a robe. Which had to be ‘well-fitting’. Eh? Robes don’t fit, they wrap loosely round and get tied with a belt. They’d had time to practice this, and then got 5 hours or so to make it. 2 hours for a sight unseen bra, 5 hours for a loose robe that you’ve practised. WTF?
Sigh. Some were quite good, several hampered themselves with really stupid fabric choices, and most of them had trouble getting the sleeve length right [the only thing that needed to be measured really]. At least the one who sat and did some careful hand sewing got her work praised, which was good to see.
I’m reaching saturation point- the combination of boredom and CRAP judging and STUPID commentary makes me seethe.
Oh yes, I forgot the little ‘educational’ segment on historical lingerie and the time taken to get dressed in corset and so on…this has already had the Historical Sewing world in [gentle] uproar. Mrs Orange-chops pronounced that a Victorian/Edwardian lady needed two hours to get dressed. Wotevva. Watch this you daft bint:
If you liked that, Prior Attire is a fab company, making very beautiful historical gear, and blogging about it. They’ve recently done a few videos showing how a crinoline does NOT hamper your movement. Take a look, it’s great fun.
In other news, my blog got a mention on Closet Case Files’ weekly blog round-up, [specifically the ‘cuckoo banas’ bustle]and I’m flabbergasted by the numbers of new visitors. Hello folks! Pull up a chair, and prepare to …er…I dunno, have some wine and cake maybe. Or whatever floats your boat x