…or possibly just ‘Meh. Bee.’
Dull dull dull dull dull. Did I say dull? Why do the ruddy judges feel the need to dramatics their discussion/commentary? I mean, blimey, it’s SEWING. Everyone watching knows it’s sewing, and sewing is not EXCITING no matter how much you enjoy it. Agitating, yes, but exciting? Every bloody week, EVERY WEEK, they say that ‘this is the most technically demanding yet’. Every fabric is ‘difficult to handle’, every garment needs to be ‘perfectly finished /fitted’, and then all those serious faces and pursed lips… Yes Mr Beardy I’m looking at you!
So this week-the quarter final apparently, and five contestants left, most of ’em, let’s be honest, NOT VERY GOOD. [Yes, blah blah, time constraints, blah blah, pressure, blah blah- they CHOSE to go on this and show us their weaknesses so that we could shout at the telly.]
‘Active wear’. In other words, stretchy fabric. I will freely admit, I avoided stretch fabrics for eons, because I had cheapo, basic machines, and I never had any success until I got an overlocker. [Also cheapo and basic lol]
Dram! Action! Tension!
Mrs Tango did her best to make things action-packed, but. Well.
They had quality sewing machines, overlockers AND coverstitch machines. Jealous? Moi? A tad.
They had to make a stretchy cycling top with a zip. They did. They were OK, Mr Beardy talked a load of wank, blah blah.
Then they had to chop up nasty 1980s ski suits and make something child sized. They did. The best one was a cute ‘flamingo’ jacket, very creative. A baggy sack won.
The ‘educational/historical’ bit was about skiwear. YAWN.
The grand finale task [you know, the one they know in advance, can practice beforehand, and that they have ages to make] was…wait for it…a yoga outfit. Jeez.
There were some nice styles, some cute fabrics, a few nice strappy details, but basically, vest/t shirt and leggings. Mr Beardy had a lovely time peering at prospective camel toes, tugging at thighs, staring hard at boobs. Creepy fucker. He tugged at all the leggings to ‘check the fit’ and make inane remarks about the ‘right’ length of leggings and the ‘right’ amount of tightness at the ankle. FUCK OFF YOU IDIOT! He was particularly critical of an outfit very similar in line to this one:
Criminal! It had SLIGHT WIDTH at the ankle, and, [a crime apparently] was TROUSER LENGTH. I shouted a bit. The top was either too short or too long, he didn’t know which. This contestant is actually the only one who’s any good btw…he’s previously criticised her colour choice as well. Gah!
Anyhew, blah di blah, the right one went home, and tbh she’s been lucky to stay as long as she did.
There were tears, gritted teeth, and an attempt to get some more tension going. Fail.
Next week, they seem to be making something INTERESTING at last- some sort of complicated-looking origami-ish article for the pattern challenge. I’m intrigued, as last time they did something that was a bit fashion-forward, it caused meltdown in some of the contestants.
Seriously, I have no idea why the only TV I watch all week is this, and Game of Thrones. Hardly comparable! [Must make that Danaerys tunic soon…]